It's Finally Happening!

 In just a few weeks, I will be going back to school to finish my degree in psychology. I also intend to earn a master's degree and become a licensed professional counselor. I am what is considered a non-traditional student. I was a non-traditional student when I started my college journey 17 years ago, and it’s been 14 years since I last attended college. I’m a little scared, especially about writing APA-style essays. Still, I have people I can go to for help, and Liberty University has plenty of writing support, so I know there really isn’t much to worry about. I seem to have some of that foreboding joy going on. I feel as if something is going to happen, and I won’t be able to finish what I want to do.

I do know that this is the enemy trying to steal my joy and deter me from the mission that God has given me. I won’t allow that to happen. I’m going to keep my eyes on God, and I’m going to remember that God brought me to this and He will bring me through this. One of the best ways to combat foreboding joy is gratitude. I’m going to remember everything that God has done for me, all the mountains He has moved, all the puzzle pieces He has put in place, and I’m going to send the enemy back to where he belongs.

“To console those who mourn in Zion. To give them beauty for ashes. The oil of joy for mourning. The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3

 

 

I AM Good Enough

  One very common symptom of CPTSD is feeling as if you aren’t good enough. There are so many things that can trigger this feeling. This is something I often struggle with, and lately I have been struggling with it a lot. Usually, I can brush off one or two triggering instances, but lately it seems there's been an avalanche of triggers. Not only that, but I haven’t been doing a very good job of advocating for myself or setting good boundaries. For these reasons, I have really been struggling lately. I have been drowning in a sea of “not good enough”.

  The other day, as I was putting clothes into the washing machine, I was thinking about how the many triggers have made me fall right back into the “not good enough” trap, and how hard it is to get out of it. I felt God tell me that He thought I was good enough, He thought I was good enough to die for, and that really hit me. That is what I’m going to hold on to when those “not good enough” triggers hit me like a freight train. I’m going to remind myself that Jesus thought I was good enough to die for, and I challenge you to remember this as well. Will I still fall into the “not good enough” trap? Yes, I probably will, but with this reminder, it will be much easier to pull myself out of that trap, and much easier to remind myself that I am good enough.

“To console those who mourn in Zion. To give them beauty for ashes. The oil of joy for mourning. The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3

Perfectionism is Not Good For Our Mental Health

 Perfectionism and not allowing yourself to make mistakes are very bad for your mental health. It took me way too long to realize this, and it caused a lot of damage that I am now trying to undo. Why is it bad for your mental health? Because nobody is perfect, except Jesus, so we ended up beating ourselves up and making ourselves feel like we aren’t good enough. Mistakes are how we learn. When we don’t allow ourselves to make mistakes or to own up to them, we don’t learn from them or grow. We then become stagnant, and stagnation becomes stinky and is unhealthy.

           As KC Davis, LPC, author of How to Keep House While Drowning and Who Deserves Your Love, says, “good enough is perfect”. I’m not saying be lazy, but we don’t have to wear ourselves out or stress ourselves out striving for something unattainable and detrimental to our health. If all you have to give today is 80%, and you give that 80%, then you have given 100 %. Let’s be kind, gracious, and compassionate to ourselves. God knows that we aren’t perfect, after all, He did create us. He knows that we aren’t perfect, so He allows us to learn from the imperfect, from the mistakes that we make, from the mess-ups in our lives. And that, my friends, is the beauty in the ashes of it.

“To console those who mourn in Zion. To give them beauty for ashes. The oil of joy for mourning. The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3