Things I Learned From Watching Hoarders

 I never thought that I would learn something valuable about myself from watching an episode of Hoarders, but the other day I did. Hoarders is a tv show about extreme hoarders. Their hoarding is so extreme that it causes problems with their relationships, and with code violations. This particular  was about a Vietnam veteran, and his wife. Their daughter had threatened to call Adult Protective Services on them if they didn’t get their house, and yard cleaned up. On top of that, they had already had to pay several thousands of dollars in code violation fines, and were facing more, if their place wasn’t cleaned up. In each episode there is a mental health professional, and an organization professional. At the beginning of this episode the mental health professional was talking with the couple, and she said some things that made me pause the show, and write those things down. These things really made me think about my life, and how, and why I do things. This post I’m going to focus on one of the things that was said. The other two will, probably, get their own post. The quote for this post is as follows, “if you feel silenced, it’s very easy to silence yourself” 

I realized that, throughout all of my childhood, and much of my adult life, I felt silenced. I didn’t even know that I could advocate for myself. I didn’t know I could set boundaries, let alone what boundaries were. Now that I know better, I need to do better. When I need something I need to ask for it. What happens when I don’t ask for what I need? I bottle it up, resentment forms, anger forms, and then any little thing can trigger a huge explosion. I end up blowing up over a little thing, and I end up hurting those that I love the most. 

Although I’m better than I used to be, I’m still really bad about not taking care of myself. I put off much needed Dr appts, I procrastinate, or even skip altogether, exercising, and I don’t ask for help when I need it. While watching that episode of hoarders I realized the reason why I do that was because  I was silenced most of my life, so I learned to silence myself before someone else could silence me. 

Now, I have to learn to unsilence myself, and ask for what I need. It’s hard to do this, when for so long I have been living my life on mute. I know that God will help me, He will nudge to ask for what I need, and give me the courage to ask for it as well. Have you silenced yourself, because you have been silenced? Are you will to hit that unmute button, and ask for what you need? It’s going to be hard, but it will be so worth it.