Today marks six months since I got my trach. One thing that I have realized lately is that I say I trust God, but I really don't. I realized yesterday that, through these 6 months of struggles, and honestly through the past 14 years of health issues, God is probably using it to help me to trust Him more. My struggles have been extremely hard, but my God has never failed me yet.
One thing that God has given me these past six months, is writing and reading. Being on book launch teams started before my trach surgery, and has continued after. Then I started blogging about my life journey. Then came the reading and reviewing books. This led to being able to read some wonderful books that, otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to read. These books have helped draw me closer to God.
The book reviews and launch teams have helped to open my eyes to spiritual warfare, and the battle that rages around me. J. R. R. Tolkien said in his book The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, "Open war is upon you whether you would risk it or not." While he wasn't speaking about spiritual warfare here, it fits just the same. I have learned so much through these books about spiritual warfare and the armor of God. I believe it has made me a better person in general, a better wife, and a better mom.
I have learned that God has given me everything that I need to live an abundant, victorious life in Him. All I have to do is pick up/accept what He has given me, and use it. Whenever I feel discouraged, or inadequate, God reminds me that I already have what I need.
Another thing that God has been teaching me is how to pray scripture. I have slacked off on that lately and need to get back to it. You can be confident that you are praying God's will when you are praying His own Words back to Him. As I'm reflecting on the past six months, I have been reading back in my journals. Reading my prayers for my loved ones has reminded me how important prayer is, and how much prayer works.
Be thankful! I have forgotten the second half of my Blog title, which has caused me to not do what the first half says. When I stop writing things that I am thankful for, I end up focusing more on what is wrong, instead of what is right. I forget all the blessings that God has given me.
I have found that God gives us beauty in the midst of all our ashes. I believe this beauty is the good that comes from the bad. God promises us in Romans 8:28 that He will bring good out of everything. When I think of Beauty For ashes I think of the mythological creature pheonix. It's life is a circle. When a phoenix gets to a certain stage in life, it bursts into flames and turns to ashes, but then out of those ashes comes a tiny creature that grows to be a beautiful pheonix. That is beauty for ashes.
Drawing by Collin Gattis
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